She still smiles when she listens to music, that’s how she knows she is still alive inside. That’s how she knows deep down her soul is still the way it used to be. That’s how she knows she still has a chance at life. Sometimes she wonders if she wants to have a chance. Maybe it would be easier if all hope was lost. To have no more hope would bring peace. It would finally be okay to give up. No more need to live through all the pain. It would finally be okay to stop fighting. It would finally be okay to rest. But of course it is not okay to give up. It is okay to give up all kinds of things. Actually, it is okay to give up most things. There are only two things you can never give up on: Life and yourself. She has already given up everything else. Life and herself is all she has left. She doesn’t trust herself and she trusts life even less. Now she just listens to music and smiles sadly. She has no idea where to go from here. You have given up everything, stranger. Sounds to me like you are free.